some are meant to be,
well-
maybe
or maybe its choice
maybe its beyond that, possibly being part of a human
i feel as though i should be away from it. im too tired of being pulled
too tired
and im indifferent
i used to
not anymore
not for awhile
im not sure what the benefit from any of it anymore really is
After failing to find the cache site yesterday, we got lost in the woods and ended up a mile from my car. walking back we recovered two bags, one of which had a journal in it- turned out to be more of a gem than the cache site would have offered. She liked to write while she was on heroin.
i think all day in the present
perhaps to think with present feelings is more clear
i dont wear my glasses anyhow
& these rainy springdayze
all over my windshield
growingtree arms outside
birdtalk
world is a pretty cool place to explore, and im not sure what any of it should mean- but i appreciate the challenge.
ive been in limbo too long
there is a lot here
maybe infinite
im not sure anymore where exactly i am
sometimes it feels like im not
in springtime mornings im aware,
but its different now
i look directly downward
only watching as my hands pick up a variety of pink, white, yellow, and blue 12 gauge shotgun hulls
the grass is still damp but not wet
lush maybe
im still sometimes
i can feel things skip as they happen
like im in a fish bowl
its something i would never have known and at first it was frightening
and very tense
where im going
or pieces to save
heart rate, plus rather
i dont believe i was somewhere else
though sometimes the shadows sure stand tall
i remember it,
though i dont slide into familiarity until im in
and in that way i suppose life is but a dream
i like to imagine the details first- flesh them out, but they’re spineless you know? without the structure, the bones- its frightening, seeing that, thousands probably - all bodycloth tossed about like dirty laundry. some have fingers, toes, faces even.
maybe
luh luh luh luh la luh luh luh luh luh la luh luh luh
scratch again
maybe ill stay
